Sunday, March 30, 2014
Still a Ranger. Cool.
I Am A: Neutral Good Human Ranger (5th Level)
Ability Scores:
Strength-12
Dexterity-14
Constitution-14
Intelligence-13
Wisdom-15
Charisma-10
Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.
Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.
Class:
Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.
Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Sound filters- What Are They? Can They Help me?
Sound filters: what are they, where do you get them, and why might one use them?
Sound filters are these earplug type thingies that will cut out the full decibel level of sounds around you without totally stopping you from hearing. They come in different levels of quality, and different strengths of sound-blocking.
In general, the things are called noise- or sound-attenuating earplugs, and were made and marketed to musicians and club-goers who need to sort of hear, but don’t want to damage their ears. (Or, yanno, they could turn their amps down, but why on earth wouldn’t we want a concert so loud it damages us? Music has to be LOUDER than LOUD, like a JET ENGINE /sarcasm) It’s also handy for people in an orchestra who have to play sitting directly in front of the brass or drums but need to be able to hear, ever again.
Luckily those of us with sensitive ears can use them too, and they are very helpful in certain circumstances. My favorite uses of mine so far have been blocking the high frequency shriek of a non-flatscreen old-style TV screen while still able to hear the college Professor speaking, and blocking the full decibel-impact of an up-close professional fireworks display while still able to hear people around me talking.
Pros: Hey Aspies! If you have incredibly sensitive ears, these are a miracle. I can go places and do things with other people without fear of sound-caused pain, because I know I’ve got my filters in their case in my pack if I need them for a little while.
I have a bit of an auditory processing issue, and I get very agitated in crowds all talking at once, and these cut the crowd noise but let me hear people close to me, speaking to me.
Cons: They aren’t meant to be worn very long- wear them too long and it’ll start to make you even more sensitive whenever you don’t have them in. Only wear them when you really, really have to.
Also, you can’t hear yourself speak very clearly while they’re in, and chewing makes a heck of a smooshing and chomping noise in your head, the way it will if you’re wearing in-ear earbud headphones. I don’t wear mine when I eat.
Some sensitive people might find them uncomfortable, but there are many shapes and kinds, and custom-fit ones available too.
How, you ask, do I obtain these wondrous things?
I got mine off Amazon, and the super dooper fancy ones can be made custom fit if you like them but are sensitive about hwo they feel in your ears. This is a link for custom ones. https://www.etymotic.com/hp/erme.html
Here’s a brand of one size fits all Earplugs that cost 11-18 USD, depending on where you get them http://www.earplugstore.com/mackshearplugs.html
You can google them and see which kinds you like, or find a cheap pair to try before going for pricier models or custom jobs.
Sound filters are these earplug type thingies that will cut out the full decibel level of sounds around you without totally stopping you from hearing. They come in different levels of quality, and different strengths of sound-blocking.
In general, the things are called noise- or sound-attenuating earplugs, and were made and marketed to musicians and club-goers who need to sort of hear, but don’t want to damage their ears. (Or, yanno, they could turn their amps down, but why on earth wouldn’t we want a concert so loud it damages us? Music has to be LOUDER than LOUD, like a JET ENGINE /sarcasm) It’s also handy for people in an orchestra who have to play sitting directly in front of the brass or drums but need to be able to hear, ever again.
Luckily those of us with sensitive ears can use them too, and they are very helpful in certain circumstances. My favorite uses of mine so far have been blocking the high frequency shriek of a non-flatscreen old-style TV screen while still able to hear the college Professor speaking, and blocking the full decibel-impact of an up-close professional fireworks display while still able to hear people around me talking.
Pros: Hey Aspies! If you have incredibly sensitive ears, these are a miracle. I can go places and do things with other people without fear of sound-caused pain, because I know I’ve got my filters in their case in my pack if I need them for a little while.
I have a bit of an auditory processing issue, and I get very agitated in crowds all talking at once, and these cut the crowd noise but let me hear people close to me, speaking to me.
Cons: They aren’t meant to be worn very long- wear them too long and it’ll start to make you even more sensitive whenever you don’t have them in. Only wear them when you really, really have to.
Also, you can’t hear yourself speak very clearly while they’re in, and chewing makes a heck of a smooshing and chomping noise in your head, the way it will if you’re wearing in-ear earbud headphones. I don’t wear mine when I eat.
Some sensitive people might find them uncomfortable, but there are many shapes and kinds, and custom-fit ones available too.
How, you ask, do I obtain these wondrous things?
I got mine off Amazon, and the super dooper fancy ones can be made custom fit if you like them but are sensitive about hwo they feel in your ears. This is a link for custom ones. https://www.etymotic.com/hp/erme.html
Here’s a brand of one size fits all Earplugs that cost 11-18 USD, depending on where you get them http://www.earplugstore.com/mackshearplugs.html
You can google them and see which kinds you like, or find a cheap pair to try before going for pricier models or custom jobs.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Portraits- Everyone Seems To Hate Themselves and they HAVE to tell ME.
I hate trying to photoshoot people- like sitting there and having to face to face with them for photos. They get so embarrassed it's physically painful for me. They protest and whine and fidget and talk about how ugly they are until I want to scream and run away and shoot dolls for the rest of the day. Dolls don't immediately start self-deprecating at you when you're trying to work.
Drawing people is bad enough, and they always mumble a bunch of stuff about "get my good side" and "can you fix this" but they have this idea you're going to "make them pretty" so they allow it. I try to draw people exactly as I see them and leave nothing permanent out,* but as long as they believe Artists Make People Look Good they will let me draw them. (* my rule for this is if it's a thing that's gonne be part of the person for a month, it gets included. Injuries,yes, blemishes no, braces yes, scars yes.)
Photos are not forgiving and people know it. People are sure a Photo is going to show them just as they are, and they are convinced that they are ugly, and that they HAVE to tell you this while you are trying to just get some homework done and shoot some images. People are utterly horrified that I am going to show other people their face. The exceptions to this tend to be other artists, or people who Model or enjoy being photographed.
Drawing people is bad enough, and they always mumble a bunch of stuff about "get my good side" and "can you fix this" but they have this idea you're going to "make them pretty" so they allow it. I try to draw people exactly as I see them and leave nothing permanent out,* but as long as they believe Artists Make People Look Good they will let me draw them. (* my rule for this is if it's a thing that's gonne be part of the person for a month, it gets included. Injuries,yes, blemishes no, braces yes, scars yes.)
Photos are not forgiving and people know it. People are sure a Photo is going to show them just as they are, and they are convinced that they are ugly, and that they HAVE to tell you this while you are trying to just get some homework done and shoot some images. People are utterly horrified that I am going to show other people their face. The exceptions to this tend to be other artists, or people who Model or enjoy being photographed.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Venting- Auditory Processing Disorder.
Venting.
I have an unofficial (read: undiagnosed but it’s as diagnosable as a missing limb- utterly obvious) auditory processing disorder as a part of my diagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome. I’ve always had it but these last few years it has gotten worse. And now I have a new problem socializing, instead of just a serious fear of males and a bizarre sense of shame and self consciousness around groups. Now I cannot communicate hardly at all if in a room with more than about 6 people. Here’s why.
Auditory Processing Disorder means my ears are physically fine. In fact they’re incredibly sensitive. My brain, however, takes in everything the ears can possibly pick up, all the time. There is no filter. I cannot “ignore” a sound. I cannot hear just the people talking to me in a busy restaurant. I have to hear everything around me all at once, all the time.
I always had trouble enjoying myself at dances when I was growing up because the music was too loud and I couldn’t hear anything anyone said. Now I’m a young adult and it’s making dating and socializing darn near impossible.
My main place to meet other people my age is at my church, and in the time between services we tend to socialize. That is, everyone else does. I stand there looking pained and dazed because I’m drowning in a sea of sound and I can’t handle 40-80 conversations happening around me at once. No filter. None. And then people will try to talk to me, to be social, and if I say I can’t, i have a hearing problem, they try SHOUTING. Which of course makes it worse.
If this gets bad enough my brain panics and shuts down my language comprehension. Suddenly my own First Language becomes gibberish. I can think in it, but I can no longer understand anything being said to me. The first time this happened I had a minor meltdown- it was horrifying. Luckily now I know it’s temporary. It tends to last several minutes, or until I remove myself from the situation that triggered it and calm down.
Every social activity around here is done in large groups of six or more people, in loud places. This last year I gave up even going to most of them because I end up just standing there drowning in sound until I have to leave. There’s no possibility of conversation.
And I am finding out if you cannot hear people or talk to them, and you can’t Sign, you’re up the proverbial creek, to put it delicately. What do I do? I am so lonely. I have a very few close friends, and that’s all. I want to make more but I cannot speak or hear in public gatherings.
I have an unofficial (read: undiagnosed but it’s as diagnosable as a missing limb- utterly obvious) auditory processing disorder as a part of my diagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome. I’ve always had it but these last few years it has gotten worse. And now I have a new problem socializing, instead of just a serious fear of males and a bizarre sense of shame and self consciousness around groups. Now I cannot communicate hardly at all if in a room with more than about 6 people. Here’s why.
Auditory Processing Disorder means my ears are physically fine. In fact they’re incredibly sensitive. My brain, however, takes in everything the ears can possibly pick up, all the time. There is no filter. I cannot “ignore” a sound. I cannot hear just the people talking to me in a busy restaurant. I have to hear everything around me all at once, all the time.
I always had trouble enjoying myself at dances when I was growing up because the music was too loud and I couldn’t hear anything anyone said. Now I’m a young adult and it’s making dating and socializing darn near impossible.
My main place to meet other people my age is at my church, and in the time between services we tend to socialize. That is, everyone else does. I stand there looking pained and dazed because I’m drowning in a sea of sound and I can’t handle 40-80 conversations happening around me at once. No filter. None. And then people will try to talk to me, to be social, and if I say I can’t, i have a hearing problem, they try SHOUTING. Which of course makes it worse.
If this gets bad enough my brain panics and shuts down my language comprehension. Suddenly my own First Language becomes gibberish. I can think in it, but I can no longer understand anything being said to me. The first time this happened I had a minor meltdown- it was horrifying. Luckily now I know it’s temporary. It tends to last several minutes, or until I remove myself from the situation that triggered it and calm down.
Every social activity around here is done in large groups of six or more people, in loud places. This last year I gave up even going to most of them because I end up just standing there drowning in sound until I have to leave. There’s no possibility of conversation.
And I am finding out if you cannot hear people or talk to them, and you can’t Sign, you’re up the proverbial creek, to put it delicately. What do I do? I am so lonely. I have a very few close friends, and that’s all. I want to make more but I cannot speak or hear in public gatherings.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
A Proverb
Forgiving
is one thing. Forgetting is another.
Once upon a time there was a man who was walking on a trail, and he found a rattlesnake, and since it was cold the snake was nearly dead. "Pick me up and put me in your shirt, Man," says the snake,"I'm cold and sick and you will warm me up."
"But you are a rattlesnake- if I put you in my shirt and you get all warm and wiggly, you'll bite me," says the man.
"Oh, no I won't, I promise," says the snake, and so the man picked the snake up and put the snake inside his shirt.
After a while the snake got warm, and being a rattlesnake, he bit the Man.
Man throws the snake on the ground and says, "Why did you do that? You promised!"
The snake shrugs, and says, "You KNEW I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up."
Part 2, the important part:
Man is sick and he goes to his medicine man to get cured of the snake bite so it doesn't kill him. He's sick a long time, and he talks with the medicine man.
"Medicine Man," he says, "Our Creator says we need to forgive those who've done us wrong. I want to forgive the snake. That's good, right?"
And Medicine Man says, "Yes, that's good, you should forgive him... but next time you see that rattlesnake and he asks you to pick him up, are you gonna?"
Once upon a time there was a man who was walking on a trail, and he found a rattlesnake, and since it was cold the snake was nearly dead. "Pick me up and put me in your shirt, Man," says the snake,"I'm cold and sick and you will warm me up."
"But you are a rattlesnake- if I put you in my shirt and you get all warm and wiggly, you'll bite me," says the man.
"Oh, no I won't, I promise," says the snake, and so the man picked the snake up and put the snake inside his shirt.
After a while the snake got warm, and being a rattlesnake, he bit the Man.
Man throws the snake on the ground and says, "Why did you do that? You promised!"
The snake shrugs, and says, "You KNEW I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up."
Part 2, the important part:
Man is sick and he goes to his medicine man to get cured of the snake bite so it doesn't kill him. He's sick a long time, and he talks with the medicine man.
"Medicine Man," he says, "Our Creator says we need to forgive those who've done us wrong. I want to forgive the snake. That's good, right?"
And Medicine Man says, "Yes, that's good, you should forgive him... but next time you see that rattlesnake and he asks you to pick him up, are you gonna?"
Thursday, November 14, 2013
In Which I actually post, just cuz. Update.
I think maybe three people read this blog, and one of them is Me. Oh, well. I am posting anyway, and will cross post to my doll blog.
I have been sick now for about 8 weeks.
What, again? You were sick last Winter, and the Winter before that, too, remember all the Physical Therapy?
YES AGAIN. Only this time it isn't Pneumonia. This time we don't know what it is. It's just too vague to even diagnose.
So far, two runs of blood tests for various things, all Normal.
An Ultrasound. My liver is a little chubby, I should avoid becoming obese and eat healthy. Okay. But nothing else. Normal. Good, no gall or kidney stones, no tumors.
Another run of blood tests for thyroid functions, vitamins, and Celiac? Normal. Good.
An abdominal CT scan, just in case of tumors or cancer or blockages or something? No. Phew!! Good.
Symptoms:
Nausea about eating pretty much everything that isn't very basic flavors. At times I've been down to Ritz crackers- Most of October was crackers, chicken, eggs, green smoothie and tiny amounts of Toblerone. Currently I can eat a lot more, which has been wonnnnnderful!!
Heats and chills- It ain't medically a fever until 101 or something, so I've been getting really awful warm surges of 99.7 and then freezing in between or during said temp surges. I cannot keep my feet warm.
Fatigue- Exhausted a lot, as if I had Mono. Which I don't.
Weight Loss- around 8 lbs in a month does not happen to me. I have PCOS; It just doesn't. So that's not exactly a good thing. At least a lb or two of that was hard earned muscle, too...
A lot of things have those as symptoms, but not lasting more than 1 month like this. We've ruled almost everything we can think of out.
All the combined powers of the medical community in this area haven't been able to figure out what's wrong with me, or if there is a cure besides Waiting For It To Go Away. Goshdarnit! *flail* Still some of the things we have ruled out were really scary things, so I am very grateful it isn't any of those things.
VERY.
I just have to be patient, and we hope it is a weirdo virus that will just go away if I rest enough.
I have been sick now for about 8 weeks.
What, again? You were sick last Winter, and the Winter before that, too, remember all the Physical Therapy?
YES AGAIN. Only this time it isn't Pneumonia. This time we don't know what it is. It's just too vague to even diagnose.
So far, two runs of blood tests for various things, all Normal.
An Ultrasound. My liver is a little chubby, I should avoid becoming obese and eat healthy. Okay. But nothing else. Normal. Good, no gall or kidney stones, no tumors.
Another run of blood tests for thyroid functions, vitamins, and Celiac? Normal. Good.
An abdominal CT scan, just in case of tumors or cancer or blockages or something? No. Phew!! Good.
Symptoms:
Nausea about eating pretty much everything that isn't very basic flavors. At times I've been down to Ritz crackers- Most of October was crackers, chicken, eggs, green smoothie and tiny amounts of Toblerone. Currently I can eat a lot more, which has been wonnnnnderful!!
Heats and chills- It ain't medically a fever until 101 or something, so I've been getting really awful warm surges of 99.7 and then freezing in between or during said temp surges. I cannot keep my feet warm.
Fatigue- Exhausted a lot, as if I had Mono. Which I don't.
Weight Loss- around 8 lbs in a month does not happen to me. I have PCOS; It just doesn't. So that's not exactly a good thing. At least a lb or two of that was hard earned muscle, too...
A lot of things have those as symptoms, but not lasting more than 1 month like this. We've ruled almost everything we can think of out.
All the combined powers of the medical community in this area haven't been able to figure out what's wrong with me, or if there is a cure besides Waiting For It To Go Away. Goshdarnit! *flail* Still some of the things we have ruled out were really scary things, so I am very grateful it isn't any of those things.
VERY.
I just have to be patient, and we hope it is a weirdo virus that will just go away if I rest enough.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
In Which I Make a List- Top Ten Reactions to my Asperger's Syndrome
When I say, “Look, I have Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of Autism- “
these are the top ten... interesting responses I have had people actually say to my face:
10. “Maybe your mother didn’t hold you enough as a child/ was on drugs/ gave you the wrong vaccines!”
My mother is a loving and self sacrificing saint of a woman who has never touched any illicit substance in her life, and is the main reason behind my success in life in spite of my disability. Insult her again and I will break your face. You get one warning.
9. “Well, then you can still understand that I don’t appreciate you being Smart with me in front of the class. Next time, Detention!”
I got punished a lot in school for Being Smart, almost always without that ever being my intent.
8. “Oh, my step sister’s niece’s kid has that. Yeah, I know about it.”
Then you didn’t know that Autism is a Spectrum disorder and no two cases are alike save in basic types.
7. “I saw an episode of Oprah with an autistic kid, she was so sweet!”
Thank you for sharing?
6. “You know, It’s not funny to diagnose yourself for attention when there are *real* special needs people out there.”
An Electro-Encephalogram, several behavioral psychologists, and a whole battery of tests I’ve been doing since I was a kid say I am Autistic. I guess I am not Real special needs. Someday, when I am a velveteen rabbit loved by a child, I shall be Real...
5. “You know, I hear they have these new medications for that!”
Let’s see: Ritalin, Dexedrine, Concerta, Strattera, Wellbutrin, Adderall, Effexor, Effexor XR? Because I’ve tested them all. Thanks for trying to help but I have been living like this for several years- it’s not a new thing.
4. “No, I’ve SEEN Autism, and you don’t have it.”
Well, that was the fastest diagnostic exam battery I’ve ever seen, Dr. what was it now?
3. “Well that’s no excuse for your Attitude. Detention.”
Attitude I wasn’t exhibiting- I did actually want to know the answer to my question, Sir. That was why I asked, Sir. What? Another detention for being sarcastic? But I wasn’t-! Yes, Sir. I know where detentions are held, I’ll be on my way now. Thank you, Sir.
2. “Whoa, I never would have guessed! You’re so well adjusted!”
Mostly I’m a good actor and I remember how to pretend, what not to do, and how to speak in every situation. I get up, I go into public and the Act turns on.
1. “But you’re so normal!”
Ah, my favorite. Should I twitch a bit? Would that fit your perception better? Or by normal did you mean eloquent and clever? I am, aren’t I? Did you know some people with disabilities CAN actually have a normal or high IQ? In fact for Asperger’s an average or higher-than-average IQ was part of the diagnostic criteria. I think, I use big words, I go to college, I sometimes work public jobs, I date (occasionally) and I don't have any physical signs of being "high functioning" autistic because there aren't any! I just have a different brain.
these are the top ten... interesting responses I have had people actually say to my face:
10. “Maybe your mother didn’t hold you enough as a child/ was on drugs/ gave you the wrong vaccines!”
My mother is a loving and self sacrificing saint of a woman who has never touched any illicit substance in her life, and is the main reason behind my success in life in spite of my disability. Insult her again and I will break your face. You get one warning.
9. “Well, then you can still understand that I don’t appreciate you being Smart with me in front of the class. Next time, Detention!”
I got punished a lot in school for Being Smart, almost always without that ever being my intent.
8. “Oh, my step sister’s niece’s kid has that. Yeah, I know about it.”
Then you didn’t know that Autism is a Spectrum disorder and no two cases are alike save in basic types.
7. “I saw an episode of Oprah with an autistic kid, she was so sweet!”
Thank you for sharing?
6. “You know, It’s not funny to diagnose yourself for attention when there are *real* special needs people out there.”
An Electro-Encephalogram, several behavioral psychologists, and a whole battery of tests I’ve been doing since I was a kid say I am Autistic. I guess I am not Real special needs. Someday, when I am a velveteen rabbit loved by a child, I shall be Real...
5. “You know, I hear they have these new medications for that!”
Let’s see: Ritalin, Dexedrine, Concerta, Strattera, Wellbutrin, Adderall, Effexor, Effexor XR? Because I’ve tested them all. Thanks for trying to help but I have been living like this for several years- it’s not a new thing.
4. “No, I’ve SEEN Autism, and you don’t have it.”
Well, that was the fastest diagnostic exam battery I’ve ever seen, Dr. what was it now?
3. “Well that’s no excuse for your Attitude. Detention.”
Attitude I wasn’t exhibiting- I did actually want to know the answer to my question, Sir. That was why I asked, Sir. What? Another detention for being sarcastic? But I wasn’t-! Yes, Sir. I know where detentions are held, I’ll be on my way now. Thank you, Sir.
2. “Whoa, I never would have guessed! You’re so well adjusted!”
Mostly I’m a good actor and I remember how to pretend, what not to do, and how to speak in every situation. I get up, I go into public and the Act turns on.
1. “But you’re so normal!”
Ah, my favorite. Should I twitch a bit? Would that fit your perception better? Or by normal did you mean eloquent and clever? I am, aren’t I? Did you know some people with disabilities CAN actually have a normal or high IQ? In fact for Asperger’s an average or higher-than-average IQ was part of the diagnostic criteria. I think, I use big words, I go to college, I sometimes work public jobs, I date (occasionally) and I don't have any physical signs of being "high functioning" autistic because there aren't any! I just have a different brain.
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