See the person not the disability! ...Why?

"Person With Disability, NOT Disabled Person! Person first language is less demeaning!" is something you hear a lot of Non Disabled people insist on, especially when it comes to Autism. "Not autistic! Person With Autism! See the person- not the autism!"

BUT the reasoning behind this is incorrect and often very secretly-ableist in the case of autism. This is another of those cases where ableism is happening even though people don’t realize it.

For those of you reading along, let me explain this:

Point 1:
It isn’t a thing I have, I am not “a person With it”, I would be a corpse Without it.
A Person with Diabetes is a human individual who Has diabetes. If you take the diabetes away they will be happier and healthier.
People who think autism could be taken out of an autistic do horrific things to us to try to make that happen- they want to cure us of how our brains work. To take the autism out of me, I would be a dead body.

Point 2, and the really creepy part when you see what you’ve been told your whole life:
People reason that the girl with autism should be called that because the girl should be first not the autism… why? because the autism is….. bad.
“See the person not the condition.” Where does this kind of thinking come from? Why don’t you want to see my autism, people? See me, not everything about me and how I think and live? Why not? What’s wrong with seeing my autism? What’s so horrible? Why won’t you see me as I am, instead of with a qualifier about how I still count as a human?
Person First Language is sadly based in the assumption that you should NOT see the Disability. That it is a tragedy to be hidden or ignored. That I am human in spite of my disability, not Along With it.
So, unless someone asks for person first lang, (and they’ve probably been told to do so, sadly) please try not to use it.

"You must be VERY High Functioning!" AUGH.

Okay I just had this discussion (but in much more diplomatic and polite terms)
 with a medical professional
AGAIN.*

 And No, they do not Know Better either, so lemme clear this up for yall.


Stop telling autistic people they are “Sooo High Functioning!” with this congratulatory grin,
like you think it’s some kind of compliment that you, a layperson without knowledge of autism, cannot magically “tell” an autistic person from anyone else. Autism has no physical markers.

 Look by this year and time, we most of us know why it would be bad to say, upon meeting someone who is a racial minority,
“Oh, wow, You’re *race*? I couldn’t even tell! You must be VERY educated! you’re so.. articulate!”
That is how you sound.

That is how you sound.
 
That is how you sound when you try to compliment autistic people by saying, “Ooh you’re so high functioning!”
You sound like a Granny saying, “Oh Dearie I couldn’t even tell you was Colored! You’re so well spoken and hardworking!”

You say those things and what we hear is “Oh you’re almost a real human being like me! You hid your nasty, nasty disadvantage sooo well! Congratulations, I couldn’t even tell you were so subhuman!”
We’re not hiding anything and we’re not happy with your insinuations that we ought to, or with your hints that it’s sooo nice we are Almost Real People Like You.


*
I have met, in an entire lifetime of interacting with Medical professionals, exactly ONE who knew any actual facts about Autism and did not instantly, well-meaningly, try to“compliment” me with patronizing nonsense learned from Autism Speaks billboards.
One.
And I have a series of medical problems meaning I’ve got a kind of networked team of pros that changes every time I move.

Psychiatrists & psychologists sometimes know a little about autism.
Medical professionals generally can be expected to know worse than nothing. (yes I consider misinformation and patronization to be worse. The only plus is that they DO know vaccines cannot cause autism.)

I realize they are not in the mental health field but it might behoove the colleges and courses to take a few weeks of medical schooling to cover some common disabilities and conditions, and how NOT to talk to people who are/have them!  *facepalm*