David Attenborough Voice

*David Attenborough Voice*
Here we have one of nature's rarest creatures! A Raine Artista Introvertus! This solitary creature is endemic to the Chaparral regions of Southern Coastal California, and we aren't quite sure what this one is doing so far out of that range, but the northerly climate does seem to affect its usual habits.
Every Autumn, this rare animal grows sluggish and begins to build a nest of blankets and other soft materials, only emerging periodically, often at night! 

In Autumn, this subspecies of Artista uses its delicate fingers to locate Tylenol, antibiotics and other small prizes buried within nearby cupboards. It then retreats immediately to the safety of its nest! During the day, it can occasionally be enticed to sun itself briefly, in a warm place if lured by pizza, or fresh hot food it didn't have to cook.


I've been diagnosed with acute sinusitis and Silent Sinus Syndrome, for which I require surgery later. Meanwhile I subsist upon tylenol and such food as I can obtain via microwave.

Smile and Nod- Advice for the over-educated

..So often the best policy. Especially when you know stuff no one else needs to know.

Person:
“OMG we totally picked the perfect name for our baby, because I looked it up, and this baby name book says it means " Gift from Heaven”!

Me, internally:
OWCH. Ah, No. No it doesn’t.
You gave your daughter a name nicely following two rather popular trends right now, the “UK Surname As a Firstname” trend, and the “Girl named with a syllable ending the in the fashionable, feminine-associeted -ey sound, like Ashley and Brittany” trend.

But it does not mean anything even slightly like Heavenly Gift, it’s a Locative Surname given to tell people where someone was from. It’s just the name of a town, which was in turn named after a geographic feature or famous historical event.

Now, I know whatever name you give your beloved child will forever mean Her, to you, but linguistically and in reality that name does not remotely mean Heaven’s Precious Gift, it means, “This one town in Lancashire with some white trees near it.”

Baby name books lie to you to make you feel good and buy their book.
If the actual linguistic Meaning of a name matters to you for everyone’s sake please do your research….

Me, Outwardly:
*Smile and Nod* Oh, that’s nice.

Sometimes, it's best to keep your mouth shut. Everyone's happier.

"So what do you do for fun?"

You go about thinking, “Yeah, I’m pretty normal, as people go,” until someone asks you what you do for fun…

“Er, well, I shoot a longbow, because I’m training to be a Combat Archer… er, in this Medieval Reenactment Society… Er, and I sculpt articulated art dolls… Um, and I sew things- I’m working on an art quilt for this Native American project I want to do for my tribe….   Why are you looking at me like that?”

Then they’re figuring, Oh, she has weird hobbies, but surely her JOB is normal rite?

“Well, a couple summers ago I was mostly making baskets, we needed like a hundred baskets for a market scene and they found out I could make them so I just sat and tied baskets for like two months, and after that I’ve been mostly either sewing or carving styrene foam.”
..”Styrene…?”
“Yeah, you know, Styrofoam ™. We carve it. Then the other department sculptors put cement over it and paint it and we have faux stone- we’ve been doing this city set with a lot of stone, and I cannot get the foam out of my hair or my set clothes…. You’re giving me that look again.”

Had enough of your guff, Pinterest.

Look it has been only a year since I was diagnosed as rather severely Gluten Intolerant. I “pin” only certain foods

for a very good reason.

You do not shove a former addict’s addiction in their face
when consuming it could seriously sicken them for months

And they are doing their best to avoid even looking at things that trigger that WANT IT NEED IT addict’s ‘need-surge’

AND THEN YOU COME ALONG WITH YOUR CINNAMON ROLL “PICKED FOR YOU” PINS.

SCREW YOU PINTEREST. GO STEP ON A LEGO YOU HEARTLESS A.I.