In Which I am Still Sick. With Rejoicing?

October 3- I went to Great Western War, an SCA event in Bakersfield CA, and the site was covered in dead Bermuda Grass.
October 4- I began to have a massive allergic reaction.
October 5- I ended up in a hotel with a chesty cough, did not return to the camping event.
October 10- ish. Got a round of Amoxicillin antibiotics for sinus infections while staying in Temecula.
October 19- End of Antiobiotics.
October 26- First xrays. Not Pneumonia.
November 3- New round of Antibiotics.
November 16-24 San Diego trip, some improvement.
November 18-22, Prednisone for strengthening heart and lungs.
December 16- Bad Coughing frequency picked up that night.
December 17- Second Xray, still normal lungs. Aches, fever arcing up to 101.6 that night.
December 18- fever and chills, coughing, etc. Still continuing. Had more blood drawn today so they can do more tests.
All we know is that it's not Pneumonia, almost totally Not Contagious because no one I've spent a lot of time close to has anything like it, and I think it may not be bacterial because I've had the same symptoms, to varying degrees, since Mid October when the sinus infection went away.

So yeah, that's what you've missed, folks.

Also, I have the honor to be the Maid of Honor for my best friend's wedding. I just really really hope I can be better soon so I can actually BE the proper maid of honor. I have a bachelorette party to plan.

In Which I Explain Why I Hate "Twilight"- A "Saga" of Abuse

Someone else's article but my same ideas. It's not that it's bad writing, because if you don't look for high caliber stuff and just want a fun read, that's your choice- but THIS list is what's been bugging me all along.

"Livejournal user kar3ning was reminded of something after going to see New Moon recently:

According to the National Domestic Violence hotline, these are some signs that you may be in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship.

Does your partner:
* Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Check.

* Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
"Stay away from the werewolves. I love you."

* Make all of the decisions?
Check.

* Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even deny doing it?
"If I wasn't so attracted to you, I wouldn't have to break up with you."

* Threaten to commit suicide?
"I just can't live without you. In fact, I'll run to Italy and try suicide by vampire if anything happens to you."

* Threaten to kill you?
On their first date.

These are some more signs of an abusive relationship.
Has your partner...
* Tried to isolate you from family or friends.
Bella doesn't have time for anyone else!

* Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
Check.

* Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
Does tossing her through a glass table count?

* Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
"We're breaking up. And I'm leaving you in the forest."

* Scared you by driving recklessly.
Check.

* Forced you to leave your home.
She had to run away with him to flee from the other vampires in the first movie, and she had to drop everything and run to Italy in the second.

* Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
Check. Even in the hospital, nothing is a big deal.

* Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
Check.

* Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
Check, wolf-boy.

Now I'm pissed. According to the NDVH, "If you answered ‘yes' to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship." This list is fifteen. "




Also, this next is from the Wikipedia article on Domestic Violence:

"Cycle of violence and Cycle of abuse
Lenore Walker presented the model of a Cycle of violence which consists of three basic phases:

Honeymoon Phase
Characterized by affection, apology, and apparent end of violence. During this stage the batterer feels overwhelming feelings of remorse and sadness. Some batterers walk away from the situation, while others shower their victims with love and affection.
Tension Building Phase
Characterized by poor communication, tension, fear of causing outbursts. During this stage the victims try to calm the batterer down, to avoid any major violent confrontations.
Acting-out Phase
Characterized by outbursts of violent, abusive incidents. During this stage the batterer attempts to dominate his/her partner(victim), with the use of domestic violence.
Although it is easy to see the outbursts of the Acting-out Phase as abuse, even the more pleasant behaviours of the Honeymoon Phase serve to perpetuate the abuse. See also the cycle of abuse article."

From what I have read of the Twilight series, that's pretty much the pattern of the PLOT.

My summary: Predatory relationship =/= Twu Wuv, no matter how pretty the abuser is, or how convinced and (for some reason) willing the victim.

In Which I Get Domestic- Recipes Forthcoming

 Summer Slush
Use a nice high power Blender for this.

Into your blender pitcher, plop one can of real frozen juice concentrate, and it can be any kind so long as it is made only with juice, no added sugar and NO CORN SYRUP. Orange Mango is my favorite so far. Citrus is full good stuff and covers the mild flavor of the next ingredient really well...

Add three Kale Cubes*.

(* I make Kale Cubes in big batches by blending about two washed organic kale leaves, water and a teaspoon or three of my favorite green supplement: powdered algaes, kelps and other good Green Stuffs available at health food stores. Choose the one that's best for your needs. Blender all that into a liquid and freeze it in an ice tray, then dump those out and store 'em in your freezer in a baggie or little bin. Any time you wanna make healthy smoothies, you just drop a few cubes in. Easy.)

Add about a cup and a half of water.

Add about a cup or two, as you like, of Almond Milk.

Blend!

Yum. Watch out, as this stuff is very tasty and therefore very good at giving me a brainfreeze.
I like to slurp it up through a straw.

In Which I Describe My Day Today

Got up, walked dog, went to work, carved, carried, and cleaned up foam, lunch, got to fix my chocolate shake craving with a real ice cream shake, then back to carrying and carving foam, an adolescent kitty popped out of the foam shed-space while I was rummaging and gave me a minor heart attack, more foam carving, drove home, showered, went to the gym, worked out like a crazy thing, then went food shopping, then went and got the dog,carried in groceries, carried out trash, Walked the dog, carried in the big bag O' Doggy food, washed up, fell over into bed.
THUD. Grin.

In Which I Make Goals.

My current crazy goal is to become a Bad-Awesome Mother.
 Literally, too- part of the goal is to find a wonderful man, marry him, build an epic adventure-filled marriage and raise an awesome nerd family. So here's the Bucket List of the rest of the stuff I'm going to be doing:
Work for the LDS MPS as a Regularly Hired Props Artist. ( I am interning)
Be able to lift a car seat with a kid in it with one arm. (I am working out)
Be able to sprint a 25 yard dash in my full armor faster than Squire Guillaume. (I am working out)
 Be able to choose moving targets on an SCA Battlefield with my bow, and take them out with a solid thunk to the head. (Archery practice!)
Become generally deadly with a bow, a longsword, and a knife. (More working out, and practice, practice!)
Become a Knight in the SCA. (I've recently met a guy I think I'd like to Squire to eventually.)
Be able to pull a 40 pound bow. (Archery practice!)
 Learn to drive Stick Shift. (getting there...))
Be strong enough to rock climb, decently, at least in a climbing gym. (I am working out)
Learn to catch and clean a fish. Learn to milk a goat. Learn to trap, kill, clean, skin and cook a rabbit. (gotta find someone else who knows all that)

Adding more to this later.

In Which I Pass Out, and Much Follows

Long story shortened:

I stood up out of bed one morning and more or less fainted, then had what might have been a seizure, and so I called doctors and we did a ton of tests, one of which was the most unpleasant thing I've been through in years.
(If you are incredibly sensitive to stimuli of any kind, never allow someone to flash an industrial strobe in your face at increasing intensities while you are effectively immobilized on a bed. You will cry, and then the Tech doing the test will feel horrible.)

So now that all the blood work has come back "healthy", I'm still waiting on the brain scan results, and the doctors have no idea what happened yet and will probably be writing it off as "just something that happens when you pass out" without ever telling me how to avoid passing out, or explaining why, since that day, do I keep getting dizzy Every time I stand up instead of just occasionally.

Argh.

For the last time, yes I am drinking Plenty of Water.

Update: Bloodwork is fine. EEG is fine. I have a (relatively) normal brain- not a seizure, yay! I have great healthy blood pressure, I am not anemic, and I am not diabetic. That pretty much rules out possible likely reasons for nearly fainting whenever I stand up too fast.
I am thankful it is none of these things, but I'd sure like them to figure out how to keep me from being a Swooning fragile flower the rest of my life. They have no idea why I get dizzy and then faint or nearly faint. That could kind of hamper some of my plans for an active lifestyle.

In Which I Report In on the Health thing.

March 8:
Three more pounds of fat lost since Feb 29. Doing better at eating proper food, but I'm about to go on a trip so we'll see how that works out- The worst thing about eating only real food is that it's very hard to find while traveling. Body Age, 35.

March 14: Body age 34. Found rather decent food while traveling. Have gained, since last check, 2 or three pounds... of Muscle. This explains the protein cravings.
Eating multigrain toast, fruit and veggie smoothies, roast chicken and carrots and broccoli with organic dip. Yes, "organic" is important even with dip, because normal veggie dip has preservatives, MSG, extra sodiums, corn syrup and goodness knows what else in it. My veggie dip has herbs, onions, and buttermilk. Le gasp, food that includes only food as ingredients- what a novel idea.

In Which I Am Making Little Steps

I was sick sick sick all winter long, so sick I could not often get out of my little home, so now I am a noodle. It's off to Physical Therapy, as of about the beginning of February.
When I started I could not lift anything heavier than maybe five pounds, and that for longer than a few seconds. I could manage one errand per day and come home to fall over on my couch utterly exhausted. I could not go up a set of stairs without pausing for breath. I could not hold my nephew, 11 month old baby Raf, while standing.
35 lb Longbow draw length- only to my elbow. Yes, I've taken up archery. Or I will as I get better.

Now it's March.
Now, I've gained about eight or ten inches to that draw length!
I have gained two pounds of water (Hydration) weight, lost 3% body fat, and gained a few pounds, which would be returning muscle. My tummy has an ever so slightly slack feel to it from lost fat.
I can move chairs. I can do crunches. I can go up a flight of stairs at a steady walking pace. I can hold my nephew for a few minutes. I can carry in groceries from my car, down the stairs and up the flight to my apartment. I can go to Hobby Lobby and walk around for nearly an hour!

Some future goals: Walking the Puppeh, more draw length on the bow, ability to carry full laundry basket down to the first floor laundry dungeon and back up four flights to my apt.
Long long term goals: Heavy armored fighting in SCA combat, being a combat archer, being able to go hiking on the local trails with the Puppeh

I have totally changed what I eat, too. See previous blog about Native inspired health. My philosophy is that you need to work out what your ancestors ate, and eat a healthy moderated version of that. My skin may be light, but my metabolism is Native American, and I do great on seeds, nuts, greens, fruits and veggies, multigrain breads, and lean meats like fowl, fish, and eggs. No starch, no white flour, very little if any refined sugar, very little red meat. No/Less preservatives, no funky artificial stuff, no "low fat" or "Sugar Free" or "Artificially sweetened".

It is really hard to change so drastically, especially since I hate most vegetables. They have such a nasty planty taste. It's especially hard to find anything decent to eat when out and about. I need to plan my menus more carefully, shop more carefully, and cook in advance, then eat things before they can go bad. My lousy sense of time does not help there.

In Which I am a Nerd

I Am A: Neutral Good Human Ranger/Cleric (2nd/2nd Level)


Ability Scores:

Strength-13

Dexterity-14

Constitution-13

Intelligence-12

Wisdom-17

Charisma-11


Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.


Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.


Primary Class:
Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter's dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger's Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.


Secondary Class:
Clerics act as intermediaries between the earthly and the divine (or infernal) worlds. A good cleric helps those in need, while an evil cleric seeks to spread his patron's vision of evil across the world. All clerics can heal wounds and bring people back from the brink of death, and powerful clerics can even raise the dead. Likewise, all clerics have authority over undead creatures, and they can turn away or even destroy these creatures. Clerics are trained in the use of simple weapons, and can use all forms of armor and shields without penalty, since armor does not interfere with the casting of divine spells. In addition to his normal complement of spells, every cleric chooses to focus on two of his deity's domains. These domains grants the cleric special powers, and give him access to spells that he might otherwise never learn. A cleric's Wisdom score should be high, since this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)




Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (27)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (30)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (23)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (21)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (24)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXX (9)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXX (5)

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXXXX (9)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Chaos --- XXXXX (5)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Evil ---- (0)

Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXX (8)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Halfling - XXXXXXXX (8)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Half-Orc - XX (2)

Class:
Barbarian - (0)
Bard ------ (-2)
Cleric ---- XXXX (4)
Druid ----- (-2)
Fighter --- (-2)
Monk ------ (-23)
Paladin --- (-19)
Ranger ---- XXXX (4)
Rogue ----- (-6)
Sorcerer -- XX (2)
Wizard ---- XX (2)

In Which I Ask For Seconds of Zucchini

I am not a veggie person. I taste things on a level most people do not. I have a highly keyed sense of taste and smell. Not bragging, because it's no picnic, but them's the facts. Supposedly there are certain bitter chemicals in many vegetables that some people can taste and others can't- this is what determines if you like that vegetable or not. I can taste a lot of said bitter flavors in pretty much every vegetable. There are some, like green beans, that will make me physically sick just imagining the taste of.
And tonight I ate "second helpings" of Zucchini.

I mentioned earlier in this blog, about two entries ago, that I am changing how I eat. The zucchini thing is a response to a severe pizza craving. Now, I love pizza. I am a critic of pizza like some people love fine wines. I can tell you which delivery pizza has which qualities to it, which ones are crap and which are heavenly, and which frozen pizzas are best, and which places in town serve the best oven baked pizza. I love pizza so much. So now I am not letting myself have white flour and the thing I miss most is my beloved New York Pie.

I hollowed out some zucchini, spread them thinly with coconut oil, sprinkled on garlic and Italian spices, then roasted them. For the last few minutes of roasting I filled them with pizza toppings. Then my friends and I ate them.
It ain't pizza, but it ain't bad.
Next I'm going to try this cauliflower and egg "crust" someone else on the internet has made. I'm using the site Pinterest to get good recipes and keep all my good ideas for food together, and I'm going to try a few new recipes each week. The Zucchini pizza boats were very fast to fix, and very easy to do, so they will probably get repeated later, often.

In Which I Log the Saga of the Pothead Neighbor.

Every freaking where I live there's some idiot smoking. At the apartment in Downtown, #444, it was tobacco, but not very often, and we used to "wash our windows" to get the downstairs neighbors to quit puffing outside our window- with the knowledge and approval of a very cool manager.
At the house on Beech Tree it was my Charming Neighbors, who had a neurotic dog and a perpetually lost cat, very loud parties and far too many pricey cars for one house, and they would toke up occasionally when I had the windows down on nice evenings. In CA the smell of Pot is Probable Cause for a search, and the cops dealt with those lovely people regularly, thanks to an anonymous tipster. Ahem.

But now.
Oh, now this is the worst, right here in lovely innocent Utah. One of the people I am forced by heater vents to share air with is a pothead, and is forcing me to inhale their nasty acrid smoke almost daily. I've been sticking notes about it on facebook, as follows:


Nothing like being home with an upper respiratory infection when one of the people connected to you by a forced air heating system decides to light up some weed. *chokecoughhack* I am sealing the vents. I'll be cold, I don't care.
Like · · December 14, 2011 at 4:21pm


If you're connected by forced air to several other apartments, is there any way to find out which, specifically, of them is smoking pot and choking you while you fight off a lung infection? Because I do not at this moment Love my Neighbor as Myself.
December 15, 2011 at 2:27pm
Heather I had that problem at the timbers. There is no way they can fix it. Only way I know of is to move. I hope you feel better soon though!
December 15, 2011 at 2:54pm · Like
Jennifer check with the property manager to see what the smoking policy is
December 15, 2011 at 3:07pm · Like
Carly Rat them out!!!
December 15, 2011 at 3:25pm · Like
Jason You said once that you have good senses, why not sniff them out? When somebody is smoking weed I can usually smell it through a door. Failing that, just wait until you pass somebody who reeks of weed and see where they go.
December 15, 2011 at 4:07pm · Unlike · 1
Peter Whichever one is also listening to pink floyd or bob marley :)
December 15, 2011 at 4:26pm · Unlike · 1
Laura Good luck, with whatever you do. I hope you get over the lung infection!
December 15, 2011 at 5:03pm · Like · 1
Nicole I'm sorry you're having that problem, but I love your last sentence. It made me LOL.
December 15, 2011 at 10:32pm · Unlike · 1
Me Thanks guys. If it happens again when I can afford to be outdoors in the cold, I'm going knocking on doors until one opens and the smoke wafts out. Then I am calling the cops.
December 16, 2011 at 4:46pm · Like · 1

I never did get to go knocking doors, because that lung infection- bronchitis from a sinus infection- turned into Pneumonia, which I am still trying to recover from here as I post this in January. I still have to avoid cold air whenever I can, so yeah. It goes on:


Saga of the pot-neighbor continues! I am using an air purifier to make my bathroom breathable. Last night whoeveritis decided to get high again at my expense, so I had to go use the shower at Mom's. I can't tell if they're doing it again, or if it's just fumes from last night. Merry freakin' Christmas.
Like · · December 24, 2011 at 11:03am

I sort of feel sorry for someone who has to get high on Christmas. But only sort of. Inflicting it on other people, who have lung and breathing problems, that right there kills my sympathy.
I didn't make a status every time they smoked pot from here on because it has become pretty frequent, increasing in frequency and intensity:


Saga of the Pot Smoking Neighbor continues: Spoke to an Ossifer, and he says they can't enter someone's home or arrest them without actually seeing them doing it. Seeing them with drugs in hand. Even if the whole place reeks. Greeeeaaaat. I can pray the smoker is stoned enough to answer the door with joint in hand.
Like · · December 28, 2011 at 9:02pm

Smoked out of my apartment by acrid marijuana fumes on Saturday, forced to go use a friend's bathroom. Unable to sleep thanks to intermittent fumes all of Sunday night. Had enough. I am going to the management in person. Either they evict this piece of crap or I am moving, and taking my substantial rent and deposit with me. I can't live like this.
Like · · Yesterday at 6:35am

And so we're up to date.
By this point it has gotten so bad it's ruining my ability to sleep properly, I get woken up by the stench. I've had to leave my house and go be with friends to escape it, it keeps me from showering because I can't shut the vents in my bathroom. I choke on it all night. My friends won't come over because they can't deal with the stink of it and a bathroom they can't use either.

I am breaking down. I am contemplating violence. I am wondering if an Assault charge on my public record would be really so bad. I am so very glad the Management has refused to tell me which apartment they think is doing this to me, for my own sake. I am ready to do something phenomenally stupid. I dunno what but it would be violent and stupid. I scream at the walls. I have started phoning Management to leave a message every time the smoker lights up and fumes my house some more, just so they get a sense of the urgency of the problem.
Which brings us to today:

Saga of the pothead neighbor continues: I have contacted the Main Management, described my rather hellishly fumigated weekend, and have given an ultimatum to them. Either they evict this person or I am leaving. End of story. I think they see my point now, and have told me they'll call me back this afternoon.
Like · · 25 minutes ago

If they don't want to lose an exceedingly high amount of money, they will get rid of this problem. I seem to have made them understand that whatever they have said to this person, the Pothead clearly has No intention of ceasing to poison my air and is ruining my health. I have also told them that if I have to go to a hotel, I will be sending them the bill. Money talks. They have said they will contact me this afternoon. I dearly hope it is to say they will have this person thrown out. My sympathy is done.

In Which I Don't Care if No One Buys, I have a Storage Unit.

I have a weird problem.
I would go into the studio and make random series of art night and day, churn out mad rows of paintings… except what the heck would I do with all of those when I was done?
I realized one of the big things stopping me from doing art is that finished,

it has to go somewhere.

And unless I paint nothing but kittens or weeaboo-stuff, no one is going to want my paintings. The paintings I have in mind are NOT going to be my usual fare.
But you know what? If no one is going to want them, then these paintings are not for those people. These paintings are going to be painted for me. What happens to them after that is just the epilogue.

So this year,
I am going to do it anyway and sell em all via etsy. I'll link here once a piece is done and up for sale. If you want exceedingly unique art for your home or apartment, actual art, not prints, get ready.

Part of my subconscious issue with painting for art's sake is that people always ask you to explain it. They almost never ask for this with a photograph. They accept a photo as An Image, but they want a PowerPoint slideshow with interpretive dance to help them "get" a painting. It's like if you spent a whole ten minutes telling someone something, and right at the end they say, "So, yeah, I heard all that 'blah blah', but what do you actually mean?"

I am very inspired by Ursula Vernon's approach. She just paints whatever she feels like painting sometimes, and other than a few words, doesn't bother trying to get people to understand any of it. The art's the point. No explanations this time. Art for art's sake. So far my best answer to narrative seekers is, "It's a painting".


...Now I just need a clean studio.
Crap.